I rewind and replay the words he used
to pick the lock on my heart,
words of which he said
I deserved more.
[Ahh! Deserve..how hopeful it sounds..
a gush of crisp clean air
filling up a pair of choked up lungs]
Open Sesame!!
Abracadabra!!
And also 'I Love You'.
He knew, what words open
rusty creaky doors,
after months of locks,
defeat and paranoia.
This time I needed all
I thought I had given away,
I thought I will never need anymore.
I still hold on to
distorted images from dishonest mirrors
endearing nicknames
diagrams and doodles and representations
trinkets
and memories.
When he grins
it is a thousand word story,
punctuated by dimples,
blushes and eye contacts.
He knows,
when to look
and when to look away.
I sit here still
hoping to catch a glimpse
when he looks my way.
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